I was flipping channels yesterday and happened to land on MTV True Life — shit I used to watch in high school for fun, ya know. It was about being addicted to exercise. One female was a recovering alcoholic and skipped AA meetings because she worked out for 5 hours per day, while another guy spent like 7 hours a day and then went to a psychiatrist to figure out why he couldn’t stop and the psychiatrist said it’s a catch-22 because two things can happen: 1. you can stop working out and fuel depression; or 2. you can develop other hobbies on the side to limit the guilt.
And I said aloud, that’s me! When I miss a workout when I shouldn’t have, I feel this big feeling of guilt. Like I’m treating my body like an asshole and sometimes the feeling is so overpowering, like if I put half of that effort into other things (writing, chores, general daily adult duties, etc) then I would probably be quite successful and, more importantly, happier on multiple levels.
It’s not even really about exercise; that’s just my crutch. It’s about being true to yourself and not getting so down that you can’t get back up, finding that middle ground between fun and work and success and failure. If you don’t try, then you fail.