Yes, I do have that particular Staind song stuck in my head. But it’s also been a while since I’ve posted anything meaningful — or anything at all, for that matter.
It was a pretty good summer. It started out slow and without much hope, but then it quickly ramped up almost out of nowhere, to the point where I was living a new life. It wasn’t the kind of summer I envisioned, but change is a part of life and I’m trying to come to grips with that. I’ve been doing a lot better, and I can only thank those who have made things better in my life. Especially my friends and those few who I really stay in touch with, those who I can have a drink with or attend some crazy musical concert with and just have a good time.
I’m more calm these days. Maybe it’s because I have finally learned to mellow out and realized that being stressful doesn’t have to be a 24 hour-a-day, 7-days-a-week job. It doesn’t even need to be half that time. Living for yourself is great, but living for others is just as satisfying in a different kind of way. I’ve grown a lot closer to certain people in the past few months and I can attribute that growth to my own personal growth, knowing full well that there are certain people I am supposed to keep in touch with and those who will listen if I need somebody’s ears to talk off. Some decisions I have made in life are questionable, although many people probably feel the same way as I do. Maybe that’s why I have been hanging out with the people I’ve been — the comfort level has reached a certain point where age and experience and friendship all mesh together to form a cornucopia of knowledge and appreciation.
It is nice to look back at my college years and know that I met a plethora of great people and still keep in touch with some of them, whether it be a text message or a visit back to the old stomping grounds. I admit that I sometimes get an eerie feeling when I step on campus, one in which I feel like I’m living vicariously through my friends who are still enrolled as students. I think it’s because sometimes I wish I could go back to those days and live it all again, but I am slowly getting over that feeling. The time I spent at MSU made me the person I am today, which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending on who you ask. There were memories created and relationships made which I will never regret, but when I look at it from a different perspective, it kind of stuns me that the entire journey only lasted four years when it feels like double that time. Time, what a strange thing…
And now I’m looking for my next thrill, as usual. I want to experience more and more and I think I know the type of people who feel the same. As The Doors put it, “People are strange when you’re a stranger.” That applies perfectly to my life — meeting new people and seeing how each individual’s brain functions in a different manner, it’s wildly interesting and simultaneously curious to learn. It’s great when 10 people can sit in a room together, even if they don’t all know each other, and just laugh and talk and have a good time. It’s refreshing and …reminds me of college.
You just have to take one day at a time and accept it for what it’s worth. In that sense you make your own destiny and make your life worth anything you want, and what a glorious life this is.