Highway Blues

How is it that a solo evening drive on a highway can always be trusted to keep our minds at ease? Is it the song on the radio which seems to always mash up harmoniously with the blur of random lights hitting you directly in your corneas?  Or maybe it’s just the distinct connection between man and nature, just as it was for Emerson and Thoreau (my inspirations) all those years ago…

My point is, it’s nice to have a clear head amid all the chaos that is our lives. In a society complete with different social classes and celebrity stature, an every-man-for-himself attitude can keep you level-headed and, in some ways, more confident that you are just as good as the rest of them. Or, at least, than most of them.

Reality is overwhelming. A punch of peons traversing the earth to complete their daily tasks and fulfill their personal interests, it’s really easy to ask, What is it all for? What’s the point? But the older I’ve become, I’ve learned that there is a point: happiness. The journey in which each person embarks on is different in every way — in demeanor, in personal satisfaction, in living up to their own expectations.

Here’s something I wrote about six years ago when my life mentally took a different turn:

Life — sweet subtleties that make our subsistence worthwhile.  Who really knows who we are, where we came from, or what our purpose is.

Confusion instills our mind about the inequities of our existence, creating a sense of curiosity that makes us contemplate whether happiness is attainable in the present realm of reality.  Often times we are submerged by the bountiful feelings that dismay our persona, instantly producing a false sense of security over whether we can handle these overwhelming emotions.  It would be an understatement to say that a chosen few are faint at heart, when in actuality most people cannot cope with the overpowering feelings of seclusion and disdain.

It is certainly a very dreary occasion when one is confronted with feelings of inferiority, introducing an array of thoughts that enter the conscience and make us dwell on formidable moments that seem to drive us to the edge of our subsistence.  We begin to wonder why these moments occurred in the first place and how they could have been prevented. Then, we begin to speculate that we have absolutely no control over what happened because our destiny is already predetermined. Our entire lives are given a purpose when we enter this world and our duty is to carry out these plans.  So no matter how hard you strive to create the perfect life for yourself, it is an unreasonable aspiration that will just result in a whirlwind of suffering and towering disappointment.

This may sound quite pessimistic and very ill-advised, but maybe that is my intention.  It is sort of a precaution to not expect too much out of any situation because your dreams may not be fulfilled to such a great extent, leaving you disappointed or utterly disillusioned.  It is difficult not to wallow in your self pity, but you still must continue being the same person you are and conquer even more feelings of adversity and pain, for those moments define who we really are and reveal our resiliency in the most fragile situations.  The best action to endure is to live life one day at a time because you will be more content with whatever happens in the future, while also being ready for every new obstacle that comes in your direction.  Of course, it seems pretty plausible to just say how one should act in the most tumultuous of times, but when those moments arrive you have to be ready to take them in and learn from them.  Running from your problems only creates more chaos and more feelings of uncertainty, and it is ludicrous to let our lives become even worse when we have the unique opportunity to make them better.

Or, you could argue that our lives are not determined at birth and that each person controls his/her own fate, that destiny gives us the opportunity to chase our dreams and achieve our aspirations, no matter how fanatical they may be.  We all have the ability to choose which direction life takes us in and nobody controls our destination, although there is definitely no clear path to reach where we want to go.  The course is filled with numerous barriers that we must exceed and that is the challenge that must be surpassed: The fact that we must defeat overwhelming odds to achieve a state of tranquility that will last for the rest of our lives.  The price to pay to achieve pleasure is worth every last effort because once you find what you are looking for, a chapter of your life is written and now you can move on to the next one.

And isn’t all mankind wants, according to the age-old maxim, to love and to be loved in return. I believe that mankind needs to have a source of sincere gratification that is always at their expense; something that will constantly be there to give them relief.  Once you lose the grasp on that one unique entity, you seem to lose the part of you that seemed to live off of that entity — the person or object that gave you a feeling of significance in this world, a world which surely never provides constant reassurance that we will survive situations and be half the person we were before entering those situations.

When speaking in terms of love, if each person living on earth were with the person they “were meant to be,” then the days of constant disparage would cease to exist and, most of all, people would be happy.  Human beings go through life trying to find the person they are destined to spend the rest of their lives with and experience many negative experiences throughout that journey of self-fulfillment, but those experiences either make us or break us. These constant daily challenges may question your ability to let others into your world; you might think about the situation and take in the positive aspects, or you could dwell on the unpleasant occurrence and determine why it all went wrong in the first place.

Love is the greatest quandary that one can experience in their lifetime.  Nothing compares to love’s overpowering magnificence, its ability to heal a difficult situation with one spoken word.  Love is so tender and fragile that it cannot be taken for granted and it does not deserve to be taken for granted because its importance is far too overwhelming for human beings to even understand.  Love extends over the barriers of the unknown in the sense that our feelings of compassion will stay with us forever and memories will always be with us, whether they are good or bad, happy or sad … we will remember.  You know you love someone when feel that distinct heave of ecstasy rush through your veins whenever that special someone is in your presence.  Love is the inevitable; profound emotions that captivate and stimulate while not letting you forget your convictions.

As time fades away into the abyss, certain feelings seem to fade away as well.  However, feelings of gratification and elation still consume our entire being and the passion to succeed becomes stronger than ever.  One thing that never seems to change is our unique sense of wonder. We never hesitate to speculate, nor do we rest easily until all of our doubts of uncertainty become fulfilled.  The truth is always waiting to be sought and it is our responsibility to seek and discover what we have been missing all our lives.  We determine our destination and even when we find what we have been searching for all along, we cannot rest easily because new obstacles always emerge, creating situations that have a definite impact on us, whether the impact is positive or negative.

The idea which most upsets me revolves around the moments in the past which stay in the past and can never be lived through again in the same exact way. It sounds almost semi-psychotic to get angry over great memories, but that is where the problem lies. Wouldn’t somebody want to relive those moments of utmost amusement by having them occur multiple times?  I understand that the whole concept is hopeless, ridiculous, unfeasible, and even if those moments could somehow be relived, the great memories one used to have may become greatly flawed.  You can not get angry or upset over things in the past because they help you become who you are today.

As life continues, new memories are formed and they will be cherished just as much as the old memories.  The sequence of life is one of bizarre coincidences and life-altering decisions. It’s almost as if one’s memories serve as a timeline of how well life has been received; an artist’s pallet which is completely blank upon conception. We make our own memories with the decisions we are faced with every day, taking control of the brush and painting a picture of our ideal existence. And just like creating an exquisite painting, nobody ever said life was easy.

Sorry for the length, but I had a lot of free time in high school. I still live my life according to most of the points presented in this miniature essay, and I wish I knew more people who did the same. I could only name few people who resonate me on an even level, mainly because we share the same interests and ideals. But most importantly, I think those people and I just “get” each other. There’s no real explanation; it just …is.

That’s the beauty of life. For all the trees and animals and changing weather patterns and war-torn countries, life goes on and tomorrow is a new day — just like that perfect highway drive can be duplicated every day for the rest of your life.

 

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way
Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Have I gone?
And left you here alone?
If I would, could you?

– Alice In Chains, “Would” (RIP Mike Starr)

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